Help me to deal with sugars, please!?

At the age of 7 ot 8 I started gaining weight. I used to meet with my best friend in the afternoon to eat. and as we grew older it turned from trying to get as much pink, sugar loaded chewing gums as possible into your mouth to emptying buckets of icecream. Don�t have to mention that I started hiding to eat. Embared to say I still do it sometimes. Who am I trying to cheat? When I was 18, I think, I starred loosing weight. A lot. Almost 20kg. Gained, lost is, gained, lost it and so on. This is what's been going on for the last 15 to 17 years. I realize that in these important years of growing my body didn't learn normal eating patterns. I'm coming form one extreme into the other. Everything or nothing. Momentary it's nothing. Means, no candies, cake whatever. But I know, one cookie can ruin my day. It's like the sugar kicks in and i think MORE MORE! It's just in my head & I know I can overcome it but I'm looking for a permanent solution. I meditated, drank liters of herbal tee,